Teenage Advice Pillows

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

The Brothers Grime

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

'We've created a teenager!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

Curious George, Dad

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

Pop in the 3rd movie. I used to like Kevin Costner. Brew the 5th pot of coffee. Fair trade: sleep for caffeine. Take turns as sentry. Do not ring. Do not ring. Do not ring

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"Nicole, Kyle, would you guys burn my yearbook?"

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

Just think! If the mall goes bust, what happens to all that paved-over land? Save our mall. We could roll up the asphalt and start a huge nature preserve. What about current wildlife? Hmm�You're right. I don't think the endangered species act covers mall rats.

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

"But, Mom, all my friends wear black...that's why we're so unique."

'I was a teenager once too, dear.'

"Ask Sadie advice hour! What's your problem?!" "Being a high school student is literally killing me! I sit all day at school, and sit all evening doing my homework." "Stop yer sniveling!!! Every student since the beginning of time has had to deal with this problem." "Yes, you're sitting all day. But like any other teenager, you should be burning thousands of calories anyway." "The eye-rolling alone should burn up to 473 calories per hour. Pick up the pace, slacker!!!"

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

'It's making me happy.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."