Teen Advice Pillows

ZBIGNIEW BREZINSKI'S TIPS FOR TEENS

"Three more years of high school."

The Brothers Grime

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

PROBLEM AREAS

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

Teenage Angst.

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'We've created a teenager!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

Pubertry

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

Fishbowl Rebellion

"We're out of empanadas!"

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"