Teen Dating Humorist Gifts

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"We're not a couple. He's just my ride."

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

Sure he's a zombie, but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"I'm sure my parents will love you, but for the time being, let's not mention that you're genetically modified."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"Smile! It's for the women I've dated scrapbook!"

He's Tasty!

Chameleon in a bar.

"Can Hilary come out to abstain from having sex?"

"If you want to charge a man for sex, you have to do it like everyone else - slowly, over time, beginning with dinner."

'Like I said in the ad - GSOH.'

"I brought Tom home to my parents and left him there."

"He's handsome. I wonder how he tastes?"

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

"What's wrong with you? Just call her John! Just pick up the phone and dial!"

'Five minutes into date 1 and my dog has already booked date 2. . .'

The professor learns that human females do not respond to tree frog mating calls.