Dating Humor Lover Gifts

"I thought it was a place to pick up some chicks, but NOOOOO!"

"I'm invisible to all men."

"I do want to talk about your feelings but first let's talk about cheese."

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

'I take it you don't want me to come in for a drink.'

"I think she's just playing 'hard to get'!"

"My date? The idiot tried to impress me with a mighty roar: my ears are still ringing!"

Larry's used art

Grace For Flies

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Why do they do that?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Beach con-man.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Fly Football

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings