Technophobes Delight Gifts

Remote learning

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"Tarzan no want computer."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Pensioners and Phones

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"Stop! You're painting over all my passwords."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

"Technology moving too fast."

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

'He'll never switch to digital because he doesn't believe in pixels.'