Technophobes Delight Pillows

Remote learning

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"Tommy? Hi, this is daddy. How's my big boy? Sweetie, daddy needs your help."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

Pensioners and Phones

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

"In my experience, there's nothing good at the end of a trail like this."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'Dad's not getting the hang of the new technology, is he?'

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"Technology moving too fast."

"Stop! You're painting over all my passwords."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"I'm old! I thought it was the television!"

'He'll never switch to digital because he doesn't believe in pixels.'

"You'll have to call me on my landline. I'm a low-tech person through and through."