Technophobe Adventurers Gifts

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Pensioners and Phones

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"Technology moving too fast."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

'He'll never switch to digital because he doesn't believe in pixels.'

"You'll have to call me on my landline. I'm a low-tech person through and through."

'Hello, are any of you other cars sentient? No? (sigh.)'