Technophobe Adventurers T-Shirts

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

High speed cinder block

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"Tarzan no want computer."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

Pensioners and Phones

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

"Why would I upload my files to a computer?"

'...one kilobyte of idiot.'

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

"Can you give me your Christmas list on a regular sheet of paper? I don't know how to open the word document you emailed me."

'The Comedy of Computer Errors.'

'Looks good on paper. Let's scan it in and see how it looks on the screen.'

'Nothing to worry about, Dear, just a little accident on the information superhighway.'

"Technology moving too fast."

"No cell phone, no e-mails... boy, I've never felt so free1"

'Forgive me father, for I've been faking computer literacy.'

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

Grandpa Billy never did understand how you can listen to music using ear spuds.

"When your computer is locked up, lady, you should call your computer's customer service, not a locksmith!"

'I don't have e-mail or fax, not even a computer...if you haven't already guessed, I'm still living in the typewriter age.'

"You're a great plummer, but those skills won't help you with fixing you computer. So put the plunger away and call a professional."

'He'll never switch to digital because he doesn't believe in pixels.'

"You'll have to call me on my landline. I'm a low-tech person through and through."

'Let's keep this friendly, Crenshaw. I'm coming in without my laptop.'