Technology Luddites Gifts

"I bought something off the Internet, but I can't find it in my computer. Online shopping is overrated."

"Dammit all, haven't they heard of e-mail?"

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Domestic Spying Drones

"We were looking for a non-hackable, energy efficient data center. Thanks for the file cabinet."

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Dad, can you read?"

Pensioners and Phones

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

'This is Thompson, he'll be getting your tea department online and working on it's global brand.'

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

If They See Something, They Do Something — To You

Rare Book Store: Telephone Directories

'Unfortunately illuminating the strike placards could take a few years.'

"I miss expense accounts."

"Reboot? I've kicked it six times, but it still won't work?"

'…dial tone…dial tone…dial tone…'

"We're going to have to erase your search history."

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

"These caseloads are impossible I've got TWICE the number I should I can't be in two places at once!"

"Technology isn't so fancy. When I was a girl, we had something like a 24-hour weather channel, too!"

Red indians kept in touch with home without the aid of mobile phones.

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

It's Rudy's annual treecation – A low-cost vacation spent sitting under his tree. This year, a twist: His gadgets have lost battery life and his portable generator is out … Don't panic. Maybe this is a battery tree. Just leaves. Or maybe there's an outlet. Bark. What kind of tree is this?! Proudly powered by sun and roots.

"My four-year-old son usually helps me, but he's at his grandparents' home."

Mom & Pops General Store - Free Hi-Fi

'Let a computer answer it.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary : "I. P. Address - The answer to the question, "Where is the bathroom?"