Tech Luddite Humorist Gifts

"Apparently, you didn't learn your lesson when you tried cleaning your phone screen like that."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"Darn autocorrect!"

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Chef copy robot

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

I've always been slower than computers...

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'It's a snow mobile.'