Humorist On Technology Gifts

"It's been in self-drive mode all morning, maybe it's not programmed to recognise stop signs?"

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Darn autocorrect!"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Chef copy robot

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

"Why is it every time I need to go somewhere, the driverless car is taking itself for a spin?"

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

I've always been slower than computers...

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

'It's a snow mobile.'