Techie Driver Gifts

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

Team Leader

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Kangaroo mom to child, 'We're not going anywhere until you buckle-up, young man.'

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"Ralph's smart car not only drives better than he does, it also works better. So we fired him and hired the car."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Better times ahead.

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Just drive in small circles, then drop me off by that bush. Poober.

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

Exit Next Left

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Through Traffic Keep Left/We're Through Traffic Keep Right

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"I'm pretty sure my self-driving car is moonlighting for Uber behind my back."

"Remember, when you back up, make that 'beep beep' sound."

'God's speed.'

"What gear are we in, biscuit?"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)