Tech-savvy Driver Gifts

'Seems the onboard computer analyzed your driving patterns and determined it was best for all not to start the engine.'

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

My new car is amazing. In addition to its aggressive styling touches, it's got heated arm rests, a back massager and a built-in Wi-Fi 'Hot spot.'"

Yep, looks like another air bag and cellphone injury.

Rap-Nav.

'To more closely match reality, all our crash test dummies now hold cellphones.'

'Excuse me sir. But are you aware that it's illegal to use a mobile whilst driving?'

Yes officer, I was talking on my cell phone when I crashed - I called 911 to say that my brakes were out.

"Sry, jst updating my stat on social media n didn't c u der!"

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

“It's a tree, sweetie. No need to Google it.”

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Coffee shop

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"We're in a dying industry, and you're just sitting there! Well, I'm going to do something about it-I'm starting a Web site."

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

Tarzan mobile phone

Astronaut Selfie.

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

'Data, data everywhere!'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"Hang on - I'll Uber us a school bus."

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

At the National Museum of Computer Icon Art

Have you considered using email?

Psychiatry. Did you get in touch with your inner child? Yeah, and now I understand all my apps!

Youtube ghost videos...

"Don't forget to send selfies."