Tech-savvy Officer Gifts

iPlod.

"I want any saber-rattling to go to spam."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

Jenkins! Why is it everything in this office is voice-activated except you?

"I just Googled you and found out your resume is fake!"

"You go pillage. I can loot from here."

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

Rap-Nav.

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

Have you considered using email?

'You're getting that office with windows you've always wanted - you'll be working from your cart in the parking lot with a laptop.'

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

Employee performance review software.

"...and this year's Special Achievement Award for the longest undetected game of computer Solitaire goes to..."

"We don't bury treasure anymore - it's all in bitcoin."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

'Suggestions' / 'e-Suggestions'.

Arachnid Research Lab. I don't need to actually be here all the time, I use a web cam!

Hydrofoil wing boat.

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

'What have I done? I sent an e-mail to the boss outlining a profound change in the way we run sales analysis. Now I may find myself replaced by a spreadsheet.'

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

Playing chess with a QR code for a chessboard

Doctor handing cell phone to patient: 'Here, take this and call me in the morning.'

Mr Phelps has left the office, but you can download a podcast of the highlights of his day at our website.

Tunnel of Love (Recorded for Security Purposes)

Bush's Hacker