Tech-savvy Mechanic Gifts

"Off hand, I'd say your bumpy ride is due to your tires, but just to be sure, I'll run a bunch of computer diagnostics."

Tossing computer into canyon.

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Animals are smarter than we think!

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

Rap-Nav.

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

"Camera not working."

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

We don't use pink slips anymore. Just press 'delete' for Henderson and Philips.

Have you considered using email?

Employee performance review software.

"Technology's taken the romance out of off-shore banking."

'It says here that machine learning finds fake news with 88% accuracy. I think from now on I really need to edit my reports before I turn them in.'

"We had to park your car in the cloud and, unfortunately, sir, I'm afraid it may have been deleted!"

'Well you know the old saying... if you can't beat 'em you can always google someone who can.'

Arachnid Research Lab. I don't need to actually be here all the time, I use a web cam!

"New tricks CD Rom"

Mathematician listens to a 'PiPod'

"Sarge, the computer won't let me retrieve the criminal files."

'Where are we? Check it out on trailquest, Bart.'

"Latest in Microwave Technology."

You're all set - We topped off your fluids, replaced your filter, and emptied your cache.

'Cell phones can make you more productive, but only if you turn them off.'

'Ladies and gentlemen, would you like your screens wiped or dusted?'

'Your first board meeting?'

"Virtual workouts are getting so realistic."

'And how EXACTLY am I supposed to peel the carrots when we don't even have an electronic multiblade adjustable potato peeler?'

Yep, looks like another air bag and cellphone injury.

"I take it you don't get out much?"

"Sorry, give me one second."

'To more closely match reality, all our crash test dummies now hold cellphones.'