Tech Trialist Gifts

Bad Parent Computers.

"It's an unfitness tracker. It shows how long I've wallowed."

Dot was totally in awe of technology. Now Neville could screw up their accounts and mess up the holiday booking before breakfast without even getting out of bed.

Trial by Media

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

I love Lawyers

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Bailiff."

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"You can't plead cute."

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

S.S.dot.com

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"Fact amnesty"

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'He started it!'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

Jurors saying 'I'm on the jury' on their mobiles.

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."