Time-trialist Gifts

Trial by Media

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"You can't plead cute."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Can that be right?"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel's Opinion.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"You're late."

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'