Timepiece Trickster Gifts

Dickens' Counterfeit Rolex.

'I offer a lifetime warranty. If your watch ever fails just call me and I'll tell you what time it is!'

Clock and bird

Cuckoo clock gotcha.

Cuckoo Clock Dentistry

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'Look a huge bird!'

Mime Tug-of-War

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

'Safe!'

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

Scarecrow Directions

Sewing Machines in Surgery

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

'Maybe the Universe isn't expanding -- maybe it's just you.'

'Say when.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'What a divot?'

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Impractical Gardener.

Pianist Fraud

"Oops! Sorry! Clocks forward, clocks back, immigration,migration. . . I never know whether I'm coming or going!"

"With my handicap I can park just about anywhere I want to!"

'You don't have to shout fore when you putt.'

Cuckoo bird to caged bird: 'I cuckoo every hour! Is it any wonder I'm a little crazy?'

"Boy, the eyes really follow you around the room."

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

"Last year, my whole family went on a trip. It started on a Tuesday, and ended just in the nick of time."

'Looks like he'd been watching the kettle boil... Poor fool.'

'Been in advertising long?' man asks painter, who's painting a pile of rubbish as a beautiful countryside scene.

"Ok you there, text me a number, any number..."

Is it time for church already? I tolled you so!