Time-trialist Mugs

"I can do it in 3. . ."

Trial by Media

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"You can't plead cute."

The Jose Padilla Experience

"Can that be right?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"You're late."

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'