Tent Trialist Gifts

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

Trial by Media

Glastonbury. After.

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

Odd Angles,a monthly strip on coarse angling.

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"You can't plead cute."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Future Tents

'We're very tight on space right now but we'll have you in an office as soon as we can. Meanwhile...'

"It looks brighter over there!"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

Please excuse him, he's intent.

Counsel's Opinion.

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

Blowing up the camping mattress.

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'Your honor, the defense would like to buy a vowel!'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant to be the subject of misplaced guilt.'

'It hasn't been a complete failure - we've learned volumes about falling.'