Tech-timid Titans Gifts

'I don't think you've officially entered the computer age until you actually click send.'

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

"'What I wanted to do, but could not, during my socially-distanced summer vacation this year'..."

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

'But you said to clean my room.'

'Hey dude, just got the SMS of the Wild...'

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

Pie chart of pub conversations

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

'Does it come on Disc?'

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"I bet you kids are all losing your minds without a wi-fi signal."

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

'I can't keep up with technology. Just when I finally learned how to use the fax machine they come out with Internet faxing.'

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder

'It's not the meek who inherit the earth, it's the geeks.'

Rudy, I summon thee. You are chosen to carry it forth. The Tablet. Behold: the upgraded iPad Pro. Better than a computer with the thinnest design ever. And I am the chosen one to tell the masses? Sort of. We expect millions to purchase and carry the message, making this a must-own item for 2019. But, yes, I mean, totally, you're chosen. A worthy daydream tends to have some elements of reality. Quickly, give us your credit card.

'At last! A system with only 1 remote to deal with!'

"I was hoping to retire at 60 - but I have to wait until 65 if I want to finish this latest survey."

"Hello, this is Bill Gates. Remember, nobody has a monopoly on safety, so buckle up!"

"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"

'Don't get smart with me!'

"Y'know Bruce, you can just click on the 'Forgot Password' button, right?"

"You keep telling me to back up my computer. Well, I can't back it up anymore. It's all the way back to the wall."

Zuckerberg in Iran

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'

Telephone companies fighting on a 'Fiber optic' cable

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

Hospital Stores - "We'll have to clear out stores more often, I've just found this machine for 'ye casting out of devils'."