Tech Titans Gifts

"Hello, this is Bill Gates. Remember, nobody has a monopoly on safety, so buckle up!"

"Judging tech giants is a bit beyond my pay grade."

"The fine print? Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"You need some low-impact exercise. I suggest deleting all the spam I get as it comes in for the next month."

"He likes it."

"'What I wanted to do, but could not, during my socially-distanced summer vacation this year'..."

"I learned how to shop online, mommy. If you see a series of tractor trailers arrive, it's just the rest of the stuff I ordered."

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

'Does it come on Disc?'

"Still judging people on stuff you could never do?"

"Why is there an ad for Jay-Z in the New England Journal of Pediatric Medicine?!"

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'Welcome to the rat race.'

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

It's important to know what to do when the communication technology doesn't work.

'Whose idea was it to teleconference our staff meetings?'

Plato seeking platonic love on Tinder

'Worst chainsaw massacre I've ever seen.'

'Let's get ready for daycare!!'

'At last! A system with only 1 remote to deal with!'

Rudy, I summon thee. You are chosen to carry it forth. The Tablet. Behold: the upgraded iPad Pro. Better than a computer with the thinnest design ever. And I am the chosen one to tell the masses? Sort of. We expect millions to purchase and carry the message, making this a must-own item for 2019. But, yes, I mean, totally, you're chosen. A worthy daydream tends to have some elements of reality. Quickly, give us your credit card.

'It's not the meek who inherit the earth, it's the geeks.'

"I was hoping to retire at 60 - but I have to wait until 65 if I want to finish this latest survey."

"These IT guys are really intimidating I mean just look at the focus the concentration...I wonder what he's working on?"

"Y'know Bruce, you can just click on the 'Forgot Password' button, right?"

'Big tissue?'

"You keep telling me to back up my computer. Well, I can't back it up anymore. It's all the way back to the wall."

Zuckerberg in Iran

'I could re-design that for you.'

'The reason I get a huge bonus is because I think I'm worth it.'

"I won't be donating my tech billions to this school."

'Please call customer services for assistance with your enquiry.' - 'Gah. Useless website!' - 'Press '1' for sales. Press '2' for customer service.' - '2' - 'Please visit our website at...' - 'Oh, you did not just say that!'