Tech Titian Gifts

"Today, tech stocks dropped on news that luddite stocks rose."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

Ascent of Machine.

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"Invest in technology."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

Gadget geek.

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

Second lifeReal life.

All the apps hidden within a phone

Bill glanced up from his computer. It was dark outside. He smelled of BO. A little voice inside his head whispered, 'you should probably log off now.'

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

I've always been slower than computers...

The whole family can't wrench a teen away from his computer.

I demand to be recompensed for the 28.47 minutes of my time your café was wasted. What? There are 1500 square feet of seating space in this café. That is room enough for 125 people. 90 percent of Americans own a personal electronic device of some sort. The quotient of that ratio of people to electronic devices is 112.5. Dividing by two produces a quotient of 56.25. So you see, it's obvious why you owe me compensation for my wasted time. I have no idea what you're saying. You only have 55 electri

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

"See? Two seconds with my quantum physics app."

Haven't Rented a Game in 2 Weeks.

Jim unwittingly wanders into a rough section of the Computer Science department.

"For the last time...I'm Alexa, not Siri! Get it right, moron!"

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

The Uses of a Stethoscope

Statue of liberty selfie

"I'm just gonna do one more set."

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, creeps in this pretty pace from day to day. To the last syllable of recorded time. . ."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"There was a time when I used to instil absolute terror into everybody..."