The Tech-timid Gifts

To say Mrs. Banks had a hard time getting the hang of technology was an understatement.

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

End of world nigh!!!

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"And for my next trick, I will attempt to work on this PC for ten minutes without it crashing!"

'I can't keep up with technology. Just when I finally learned how to use the fax machine they come out with Internet faxing.'

"I can't understand why you're getting no signal down here? There's plenty of Hotspots!"

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"Where can we get such a thing? We would lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons about cats."

"Thanks for the keyboard, grandma. But it's not the type I'm in need of."

Never divulge your credit card pin number to your children!'

'Don't get smart with me!'

'Of course your computer crashed, you threw it out the third floor window.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

"He abandoned his computer, his pager, his cell phone, his hand-held pilot, his on-board navigation system and for one hour, we were blissfully disconnected."

'We've papered over the new flat screen TV to make it less obtrusive'

"I can't live under a bridge, Mom and Dad. I want to be an internet troll."

'Open up Clayton, you knew it was inevitable.'

'I don't think you've officially entered the computer age until you actually click send.'

'Come out, come out, wherever you are!'

"Your kids can do this in 10 seconds"

"Hey, Dad! Did you get the Covid app?"

'They're hiding phone masts everywhere.'

'For Pete's sake, can't you just tell me instead of emailing me?'

"My, Grandmother! What big data you have!"

"We'll start by typing in - IS THERE ANYBODY THERE - then click SEARCH" (Modern day seance using laptops)

"He's afraid of getting on the computer. Or as I call it, cyberinsecurity."

'I was trying to phone my mother and ended up closing my bank account, taking 15 pictures of my nostrils buying a sheep!'

"This should be called a rude phone, instead of a smart phone. It just called me an idiot for not knowing how to use it."