Tech Tantrum Enthusiast Gifts

'Of course your computer crashed, you threw it out the third floor window.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

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Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"You are still here."

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

Robot Robber

"An excellent interview Mr Twinglestop, now is there anything you'd like to ask me. . . Apart from home to switch off your 'cat filter'?"

Ezra's purchase of an off-brand gps device meant he'd never get the chance to make his horse drink,

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

"Oh, sorry—I think I just butt-summoned you."

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"The pilots are trained on all the plane's technology, but they're still having a hard time with the backup camera."

Computer Frustration

"Someone just pinched my mobile phone"

"I looks like a Martian dropped their phone. And by the size of it, I hope they're friendly."

"'Page Not Found' always sounds a little 'careless'. Maybe we could replace it with 'Page Temporarily Engaged in Promoting Alternative Client Focused Services'."

"Frankly, you seem a little fleshy for our team."

'I think Phillips has a short circuit in his smart phone.'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

Mousetrap has captured the wrong type of mouse.

'Other than the hatchet I don't know what could be wrong with it.'

'How many more days until we let them know it's just a joke?'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'W-R-O-N-G Voltagggeeee for a vintage machine like myself.'

When computers are attacked by Spam.