Tech Tantrum Appreciator Gifts

'For Pete's sake, can't you just tell me instead of emailing me?'

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

"He was much more effective in the field."

Fairy tales reimagined for the 21st century. Jack and the Beanstalk

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

Woman finds something in her soup.

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Sorry about the reception, Lou. I grabbed my enchilada by mistake."

"Sorry, but road rage is next door. This room is for people who get frustrated with their compute and take it out on their keyboards."

Menu. Will you do it? It'll cost you -- Two lattes. Fine. Just do it. Ok, stand back. You stupid #*& phone. Stop disconnecting my calls, you #*&% jerk! It needed doing, but I couldn't yell at my own phone. That felt wonderful.

Streaking makes a comeback, but nobody notices.

'You used foul and offensive language when addressing your computer. Well....we've all done that.'

Heck Support.

Computer frustration

'And what do you do for a living Duncan?' 'I write instruction manuals for computers.'

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Weblog - An arachnid construction diary...

"Just need to check on my smart kitchen appliances - they tend to throw dinner parties when I'm not there."

'Of course your computer crashed, you threw it out the third floor window.'

'Are you still frustrated with the computer, dear?'

"I tell you the computer in the hospital made a mistake!"

Call Waiting for Godot.

"A glitch in production - everyone gets a prune omelette with sardines."

"We are currently experiencing an unusually high volume of calls and all our advisers are busy..."

'I forget, is this my cell phone, PDA, Ipod, GPs, or Ipad?'

"To return to the original menu say say 'Goddam son of a bitch!'"

"Getting the WiFi to Work"

Always when you're busy!

"Every time I got frustrated with my computer, I would slam on the keyboard. This time the keyboard fought back."

'I don't mind the obscene phone calls. But I object to them reversing the charges.'