Tech Tantrum Tamer Gifts

Computer frustration

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

Mood Swings.

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"I've got a lap dog and a laptop cat."

"Our driverless smart car texted me saying it went to get an oil change because I was too lazy to do it. Is there a way to disable its rudeness?"

"I replaced my G.P.S with auto correct, and every time I try to go right, it makes me go write...."

"You'll be on the road most days, but when you do come in, this will be your docking station."

"I haven't seen you look at your me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives?"

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

Computer Time Bomb.

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

Next Year's Postal Service Marketing Campaign.

'Eiter global warming is accelerating, or my Google map with climate information is malfunctioning.'

"Hello? IT support? I think my hard drive is fragmented."

"He used to fetch my paper, but now that I read online he's my IT support."

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

'On','Off', and 'Maybe' switches.

"What do you recommend for someone recovering from a tantrum?"

'Mary finally solved the blinking clock problem by putting black tape over it.'

"This program really isn't user friendly."

"What was it like to wonder?"

"All my devices are in there fighting over dominance again. I'm waiting out here until they're finished. It gets on my nerves."

'Mommy!'

In case of computer breakdown break glass

"This one's too smart. Do you have one with only a high school education?"

Betsy's not too happy with Ralph's new turbo milker.