Tech-savvy Traditonalist Gifts

'Does text messaging violate our vow of silence?'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Did you get my tweet?"

Man Reading Laptop.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

God's Phone

'Before we begin, please turn off all cell phones.'

"Mommy, look! Tablets from olden days!"

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"So no bases are uncovered, Sister Ann gives the sermon to the deaf and Brother Brooks blogs it."

Champagne at the hunt

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

Follow God On Twitter

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

"My kid could have done that with AI."

". . . and what is the user name of this child?"

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

"Virtual Reality glasses. Well, I said my sermon would let them see the real difference between Heaven and Hell this morning"

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

"Christmas pudcast"

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'

Man wearing a kilt carrying roses.

Your proposal is bold and innovative but we are a traditional corporation. I would prefer changes like the ones we've tried before

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"The greenest gadget in this high-tech office is still this old pencil sharpener."

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'