Tech-savvy Pet Trainer Gifts

'It's very advanced. They start with simple commands - sit, come, fetch - and then work up to retrieving lost computer files.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"Don't even think about it."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

Dog with Anchor Lead

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'