Tech-savvy Pet Trainer Pillows

'It's very advanced. They start with simple commands - sit, come, fetch - and then work up to retrieving lost computer files.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"Don't even think about it."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

"Instead of wagging my tail, running around and jumping all over you, I sent you an E-card."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

Dog with Anchor Lead

There are no rats with collars...

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'