Tech-savvy Trainer Gifts

"New tricks CD Rom"

"Sorry, give me one second."

"Virtual workouts are getting so realistic."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Any questions?"

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

"Any questions?"

'One of the new targets is targeting which targets we're meant to target.'

Mozart on a computer,

City Marathon.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"We hardly ever intercept hard copy notes anymore, Stanley."

"How can I be a lead learner without the technology needed to lead?"

Hanging off every word...

Quality Control

"The GOOD news is that 94 people want to attend the leadership training, the bad news is that 64 of them want to change the venue, 56 the time and 45 want to be course leader."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

Targets.

'First of all, relax.'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

'I hope that training aid doesn't give him the idea that bigger laptops could mean more output.'

'Let's go! Let's go! Hustle! ...Relatively speaking.'

'I sort of thought your presentation was going to be in powerpoint.'

Mentors guide you through the maze.

'I miss the good old days!'