Joyful Pet Trainer Gifts

"My husband finally taught him to use the toilet but can't convince him to give up kitty litter."

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Dog stretching before a walk.

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Don't even think about it."

Pavlov's Puppy

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Dog Training Academy and the Cat Anarchy Club.

'I suppose an explanation is in order?'

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

'Look, Dad! -- I taught Shep to walk on his hind legs!'

Dog with Anchor Lead

"No. Bad dog. You may not use fracking to extract a bone you buried."

'So... Who's chasing who?'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

Talking Dog.

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

There are no rats with collars...