Pet Trainer Extraordinaire Gifts

'138 Days without an accident!'

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

Polly txt speak

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Quick, start the car!"

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

'Bert's dog training.'

"Yeah, he's cute but don't approach him. He's a service human."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'He's not supposed to go out.'

Litter Tray Training

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

'Listen Sonny, I don't want or NEED to get to the other side!'

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

Cat Show

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog stretching before a walk.

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Don't even think about it."

Another reason Chihuahuas hate basketball.

"Settle down boy, they're not actual cat-fish."

Funky Facts: Monkeys.

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.