Tech Repair Professional Gifts

"I've tried rebooting it several times, but the news is still terrible."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Was that my pager or yours?"

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'Fixed the leg on the telly yet?'

Organic Soldering.

"I've narrowed the problem down to somewhere under this big flap I discovered."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Fact amnesty"

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

S.S.dot.com

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

Computer operator welding machine.

Demonic Repossession.

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'Hi Terry. Quick question about that new gearbox you put in my Polo last week.'

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"You are found guilty of privacy, aggravated privacy and the exercise of privacy with intent to conceal."

Google signwriter.

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

Home for the Holidays

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

"It's worse than I thought."

Huawei Five-O

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'