Team Owner Gifts

Locker Room. Ernie, on the radio they said your poor play caused eight sacks! What did the coaches think? I guess they were unhappy -- They were the ones the team owners sacked.

'Guys, part of our team name is repugnant to some of the public, so we're dropping 'Washington' from our team name.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Fast food. Even faster food

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

Cut Price

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

6 Brothers Falafel

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'