Team Owner T-Shirts

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

Cut Price

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Fast food. Even faster food

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

6 Brothers Falafel

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I am willing to concede that the company has been underperforming of late...'