Racing Team Owner Gifts

'I know he owns the team but I still think it wont work out.'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

The Cat's Alarm Clock

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

First past the post.

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'I can't stand to see an animal in pain....'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

'...and what do doctors recommend for pain?'

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

'Some people are betting all their savings on me... I can't handle the pressure anymore...'

"Don't get me wrong, I like apples, but for some reason, that seems to be the only treat they ever give us..."

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

Race Horses See Big People.

'I don't mind playing dead...but what I'd really like to do is direct.'

Office ready to leave at 5 o'clock.

'Yes, it's toxic, but look: If the host dies, the worms die too!'

Owner: 'Why didn't you ride as I told you? Didn't I tell you to force the pace early and come away at the corner?' Jockey: 'Yes m'Lord, but I couldn't very well leave the horse behind.'

"It's not my fault that you forgot your hearing aid!"

"...and those are cheese and cucumber..."

'Knock if off, O'Reilly. You are herewith officially charged with bringing racing into disrepute.'

Today, business expert, Professor Ernie, will answer questions. The first is from an upholsterer who has lots of business but loses money on every order. The problem is that you're covering everything except your costs! The owner of a baseball team wants to know if you he should re-sign the team's best player, the league leader in double and triples. I don't think he can afford the high base salary. And a perfume company is struggling to survive. Their strategy has been to only produce exo

Sports Collectibles: Sorry...No Ball Park Estimates!

Dragon and no smoking sign.

'Upward mobility: "Hi - I own the train".'

"Of course it's horse-proof. Everything I own is horse-proof."

"So, it wasn't a typo then?!"