Teaching Pro Gifts

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

A Puppet Named Juan

Butterfly Woman

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

Kirsten Johnson

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'Sorry, Professor Kleinzweck -- your 'Chaos Theory' program just crashed.'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

"...and smoking is forbidden behind the scooter shed"

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"I believe teacher is beginning to rub off on me."

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"I said 'I quit'. Nobody listens to me any more."

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

"Just when you think you've got it all figured out, they hit you with algebra."

"If you wish to see your artwork displayed, don't forget your bio."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

You need to learn punctuation. I'ts, important later! 'in life'

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

Mental Health Care

'Your stork story got me to thinking, Dad -- wouldn't it be simpler if people just did it like dogs and cats do?'

"Can you help me, Mrs. Green? This wasn't covered in any of my education courses!"

"Hi, Honey, so how's the new teaching job going?"

Teachers' Training Toughened: 'Sorry I'm late, I had to help one of the student teachers with their homework.'

"He's not much of a hunter, but he's great with computers."

The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.

'When I pick my nose, it means I'm going to object.'

"The sad part is, if one of them becomes a big success, he'll say he was self taught."