Teaching Veteran Gifts

'Don't worry, the first thirty years of teaching are the hardest.'

A Puppet Named Juan

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'If you're not confused then you realy don't know what's going on... !'

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'Being a brilliant,inspiring teacher is NOT adequate, Hackwell....'

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"Remember double negatives are a complete no-no."

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Say, aren't you my old shop teacher who said I couldn't cut a straight line to save my life?

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

Learner driver is a crash test dummy.

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

"I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing."

The lineup for mental health services around the building.

"It's a student you taught 20 years ago asking if you'd loan him bail money!"

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

"He gave me an 'F' on my resume."

"If your certificate is removed, are you unable to teach?"

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"Yeh, we met at University too, I was a Porter and Sharon was a cleaner."

"If you wish to see your artwork displayed, don't forget your bio."

Congratulations on your PGCE.

'Quick! Name the capitol of North Dakota! What is an isosceles triangle? How high is mount everest? Think! You did study, didn't you, young man?'

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

"Yes! Paul nails the Edna Vault!"

"You could say I'm a war veteran. I'm a retired junior high teacher."

'Miss Fenwick - my old school teacher!!'

"Freddy, take this back and add it up again. I was your maths teacher, remember."

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"Hi, Honey, so how's the new teaching job going?"

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

'After years of therapy I finally know who I am, Thank you very much,'

Retired teacher.