Therapy Veteran Gifts

'After years of therapy I finally know who I am, Thank you very much,'

The lineup for mental health services around the building.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Client screamed, "I HATE SPRING!" and continued to have a meltdown. Diagnosis: Seasonal Affective Disorder."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'I hate Mondays.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'