Therapy Warrior Gifts

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"He's gonna be bad for business."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'Well, well, well...'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Your contents have shifted."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Be Healthy

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Couples' therapy

Pet a Puppy

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Hot Pie Therapy

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'