Rehabilitation Warrior Gifts

Lab Rat Rehab...

'I remember when you were this high!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

Girl in Yellow Jumper

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

Big slipper.

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

Overdoing it.

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

No one drinks from fountains anymore. Thanks to bottled water, they've been replaced. By bottled water fountains.

"He's gonna be bad for business."

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

Old Geriatric Hitchhiker holding a sign saying 'Last Fling',

Wheelchair Basketball

Before the accident? John was a truck driver.

"First day out of bed?"

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

'He's a true athlete... tennis elbow, jogger's feet, and skier's knees.'