Recovery Warriors Gifts

'I dreamed I joined a twelve-step program.'

Lady about 'One Date at a Time' Bumpersticker: 'He's trying to stay sober, but he's still a lady's man.'

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Spa

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

Self-esteem room

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'Your master isn't due for release until the first of the month.'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

"The doctor was more lucid today! That's a good sign!"

"Call me a taxi if I start foaming at the mouth."

'The food here isn't too bad, just try not to swallow !'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"We're doing everything we can to make him comfortable, short of dressing up as male doctors."

'It didn't hurt at all. You gave it to my teddy bear.'

'I thought it might help you get your mind off things. It's a story of hope and survival. Nothing at all like your story.'

'What's for desert?'

"Should be back soon. He's just out catching a few x-rays."

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

For sale

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

A robot is in hospital, he has a card saying 'get welded soon.'