Recovery Warrior Gifts

Morphine & Sugar Withdrawal.

'Heroin chic isn't the look I'm going for. Do you have anything more rehab?'

'Hi, my name's Dan and I have a drinking problem.'

"Do you believe in life after drink?"

"Don't get me wrong. I think it's great that Barbara decided she wanted to start exercising more after her surgery."

"When I quit drinking I saved a ton of money that I lost gambling"

Sex Addicts Anonymous/Porn Addicts Anonymous

Overdoing It.

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

Pilgrim's Progress

Alcoholics Anonymous - Hard Knocks

'Yes, this is step nine of your twelve-step program.'

"First day out of bed?"

A man tries to avoid going over the waterfall of alcohol dependence.

"How'd everything go?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

'Could I have a doggie bag?'

For sale

Big slipper.

'Grief counselling'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

No one drinks from fountains anymore. Thanks to bottled water, they've been replaced. By bottled water fountains.

'Well, here we are again.'

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

Working in recovery of Hurricane

'What happens when we run out of gas?!'

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."