Rehab Warrior Gifts

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

'Alchohol alone is responsible for your problems.'

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"I found the sobriety not that big of a thing. It's the clarity that's scary!!"

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Burnout Syndrome...

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

Traditional vs alternative medicine.