Rehab Rocker Gifts

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Here they come: Detox and Botox."

'Before I quit I couldn't even spell rehabilitation.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"Seriously, this can't be the only stretch you know."

"And they'll remain in captivity until they are fully rehabilitated and able to fly again."

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

Lab Rat Rehab...

"Were you referred to us by your doctor or publicist?"

Addiction Research Centre.

'I remember when you were this high!'

"Yeah, he's in rehab, but for the right role I can spring him."

'I think my work here is done.'

'They tried to make me go to rehab, but I said no no no.'

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

'...and so, after rehab, Snow White married the prince, and lived one day at a time ever after.'

Bob walked away from the halfway house – but only got halfway.

'Taking up knitting has been good therapy for you.'

"In terms of career guidance, access to A-list talent, and studio relationships, you couldn't sign with a better rehab clinic."

Twelve step program.

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

"My wife always said I'd end up mixing with the rich and famous."

Probation Officer

"I'm in this dynamite twelve-step program that helps me not miss steps in my other twelve-step programs."

Triple Threat

Social Networking Anonymous 12 Step Program.

'Alchohol alone is responsible for your problems.'

'Note to self... remove slot machine before next meeting.'

Snorting lines of the road on the way to rehab.

'Get out! You'll never rehab in this town again!!'

"Hi, my name is Sylvia, and it's been 36 hours since I bought anything online."