Medication Warrior Gifts

"Your insurance company won't cover this prescription. They don't want to get your hopes up."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

The Cougher

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

Hot Pie Therapy

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Exercising

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'What are you eating now?'

Burnout Syndrome...

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'