Medication Warrior Gifts

"Your insurance company won't cover this prescription. They don't want to get your hopes up."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

The Cougher

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Exercising

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

Burnout Syndrome...

Healthy living has added years to Melvin's life.

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'Mom, do I have to hold my plank through desert, too?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'