Medical Warriors Gifts

Covid Busters

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Exercising

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

Hell's Angels

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

Polio - The Comeback Kid

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

"He's gonna be bad for business."

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

NHS targets

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"I'm sorry, but you've had it up to here."

Free radicals.

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."