Medical Warriors Gifts

Covid Busters

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Exercising

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Hell's Angels

NHS targets

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

Trumpcare is buried by the House and Senate while Obamacare remains alive.

"He's gonna be bad for business."

'It says take all your medication - if you can afford it.'

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Polio - The Comeback Kid

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

'No, you haven't missed much. Pretty well everyone called in sick.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'The good news is it's curable, the bad news is you can't afford it.'

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

"Health advice does change over time, but I doubt if we'll EVER be recommending a diet of pizza and beer."

"I'm sorry, but you've had it up to here."

'I exercise to stay healthy so I can keep working to pay for health insurance until I drop dead.'

"I'm going to have to make this quick, God. I just ask that you watch over me during my double knee replacement tomorrow."

"Cobra pose assisted by chocolate mousse."

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”