Medical Marvelers Gifts

"Great news! Scientists have cured many, many diseases!"

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'Your reflexes are still good!'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

"Jerry's blood pressure jumped to a six month high on News of the dollar's weakness."

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'