Medical Marveller Gifts

'The knee brace I prescribed, you put on over your head.'

2021

"His first out-of-body experience."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"The prostate biopsy shows your pain threshold is much higher than normal."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"The first one's just a warning."

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

Robodoc... the NHS surgeon of the future.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'Your reflexes are still good!'

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

Superbug Research Go For It / Got it

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

'It's not easy being fabulous and caretaking.'

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

"That's a big fat lie!"

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."